“Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain”

🐸 Frog themed shower curtains are drawn around the hydrogen taps with plumbing way outside our tiny understanding that has drenched this sausage shaped universe with half-filled puddles of geometric building blocks and delusions of slime. To look beyond the matted hair inside the mysterious plughole is an inevitable madness that overwhelms scientists as much as their quandary over red or brown sauce on a fish finger sandwich; myself, I prefer egg yolk.


But what came first the chicken or the egg? The butterfly or caterpillar… OK scratch that… Was God an airborne ‘disease’ from the cosmic shower head? Strange transactions happen over time rarely seen in before and after photos, but inside the culmination of our wisdom and experience; where are the tadpole themed curtains? Hanging in the maternity theaters awaiting the inevitable madness for ever having been blessed with slimy building blocks. Time changes everyone and I find it near to impossible these days to recall my life before I became a Dad.

A testimony typed with switchblade lettering slicing clean open my very soul. She was born silent after a hearty struggle and with it the universe; any meaning it had ever held to me or could ever hope to hold again lay beyond the U-bend. I unclipped my safety belt and crashed through the windscreen of earthly laws and demanded that if there was more to this mystery it would be known to me at that precise moment or forever be damned with nothing but hatred and seething for the one who would be so indiscriminate to my unchanging allegiance.

Doctors and nurses rushing about with equipment and reason brought her new lungs crying into life and breathed fresh faith back into mine. A story I’m not encouraged to speak of, but it happened nonetheless. I’m not too keen when the family talk about the time I shaved my hairline so I reseeded to look like Morrissey, but they tell it anyway. Many years now have I shaken the blossom over her precious head and I remain loyal to the author for that miracle even when the branches are winter bare. I’ve been showered with many changes in life; my wall tiled with laughter; health piped to loved ones under the floorboards… OK the plumber metaphor has sprung a leak, but you get the idea. I’ve just had my bathroom refitted so what else do you expect?

And as for The Lemon Circus, it too is ready to be refurbished. We wish Jamie every success in the most important role of his career to date; a challenging, responsible task with added pay cuts; as Dad, but what a great position to tenure. We’re promised much fruit in these branches with every changing season; and even as I struggle to recall a show before Jamie co-hosted with his youthful, now sadly clumped grey hairs into the radio plughole it will spawn the next chapter in my story here on Mixcloud. I hope you join me soon on that next step in that incredible journey. Thank you for your support so far and the recent visit you made, it’s always appreciated. 👶


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